showing up

I feel like I'm getting reconnected with real life again. And it is nothing but rewarding, much to the dismay of the alcoholic demon in my head that would like to get me isolated and insane so it could talk me into drinking again!

For example, an acquaintance who I'd really like to make a friend just invited me to be part of her book club. I'm excited to meet her friends who are bound to be just as groovy as she is.

Then, I posted an item on an email bulletin board that encourages free exchange of stuff. I had a bunch of folks interested, but the first person to respond was a woman named Jean.

She came over and noticed my concrete floors and turns out she finishes concrete floors professionally - she then noticed my artwork and liked it, wanted to know if I would like to join her and some other artists in sharing a big space to show during this year's open studios! (She's done open studios this way for several years and they have good success.)

That was a big boost, not only as far as feeling confident about my art ability but about how friendly the greater world is. I'm still a little shell-shocked by the negativity from last year, I think. Dang.

Then, I got a call from my buddy, G, and she let me know that she'd gotten a promotion at the radio station and moved time slots. So, I got to listen to my friend on the way to work and felt so proud of her for how good she is now - miles better than when she started. Gave me a big smile.

So, I just need to keep going to meetings, and keep showing up - and this kind of thing will grow & grow. I'm writing this down as a reminder on days when doubt creeps in and I feel the tendency to isolate.